How Stimulating?

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When I took Driver’s Education in high school, it was a part of the curriculum and about half of the classes were on in big trailer full of SIMULATORS, which were sort of like “driving video games” long before video games arrived. The simulators we used were not as old as this top picture and they weren't as high-tech as today's driving simulators like this one made by BMW.

Anyway, on to the point of this post...

One day my friend Linda told me she didn’t need a ride home after school because she was scheduled to be on the STIMULATOR.

“The what?” I laughed.

“You know… the STIMULATOR,” she said innocently, “It’s fun. I like it even more than driving a real car.”

“Ah, Linda…I think you mean SIMULATOR… not sTimulator.”

She was so embarrassed, but the truth is she hadn’t noticed the slight difference between simulator and stimulator much less their entirely different meanings. Funny...

But here's something not so funny...
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Democrats in Washington are about to force their $900,000,000 STIMULUS package upon us. Just three months ago they (and some Republicans) agreed to create and give away nearly that much money in the now highly-questioned November "Bail Out." The effects of that money-printing machine are still unclear, and yet on the heels of condemning President Bush for overseeing rising federal debt over the past eight years, President Obama has in his first ten days proposed a pen-stroke that will add more deliberate debt to the national tab than any president in history.

Today, January 28th, President Obama tried to sound like a private-sector capitalist ending this speech with a fact he seemed to have just heard for the first time: "As we all know business not government is the engine of growth in this country." I agree whole-heartedly with this last statement, but I wonder if this is his heart or his handlers talking because here's what he said three weeks ago in what has become known as his "only government" speech January 8th (printed in red ink):
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"I have moved quickly to work with my economic team and leaders of both parties on an American Recovery and Reinvestment Plan that will immediately jumpstart job creation and long-term growth. ...only government can provide the short-term boost necessary to lift us from a recession this deep and severe. Only government can break the vicious cycles that are crippling our economy....I understand that some might be skeptical of this plan. Our government has already spent a good deal of money, but we haven't yet seen that translate into more jobs or higher incomes or renewed confidence in our economy. That's why the American Recovery and Reinvestment Plan won't just throw money at our problems - we'll invest in what works."
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Oh, really! Only government and only what works? Only what translates into new jobs? There is so much pork in this bill it goes beyond stimulating; it's down right titillating. "The House Democrats' bill includes $335 million for sexually transmitted disease education and prevention programs at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.... In the past, the CDC has used STD education funding for programs that many Members of Congress find objectionable and arguably unrelated to a mission of economic stimulus [such as funding events called 'Booty Call' and 'Great Sex' put on by an organization that received $698,000 in government funds.] "Whether this funding has merit is not the question; the point is it has no business in an economic plan supposedly focused on job creation," says a stimulated Hill source."
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Here's what Pelosi had to say about her part of the pork in this bill.



You heard her. Part of the stimulus package will pay for contraception hand-outs. Is there still time to stop this from happening or are the Democrats feeling so virile that "No" means "Yes"? Does anyone else feel like this bill is being pushed through without consent?

Oh, how I wish the Democrats could get the same thrill by spending an afternoon in an ECONOMIC SIMULATOR, a video game that projects into the future the natural consequences of spending nearly a TRILLION DOLLARS that the government doesn’t have to spend.

The video screen would show Pelosi and Reid and President Obama in their choice of Big-3 hybrid cars driving through an obstacle course of falling banks, failing schools, boarded-up store fronts, and foreclosed homes. The first one to make it through the course gets to drive over a cliff. BUT NOT TO WORRY—little wings jettison from the car’s fenders and give the race one more lap. The word "STIMULUS" is on one wing and "PACKAGE" is on the other. The size of the wings and the weight of the car depends on how much money each driver was able to throw out en route to the cliff. If they're lucky, they soar happily away into the clouds. But according to the rules of this strange game, if they do not throw away enough money before reaching the cliff, the car may be too heavy and the wings too small, and down they go. Game over.

Oh, how I wish the Democrats were on a simulator instead of this stimulator contraption they’re asking us to get into. One thing is for sure, they have the votes to do it exactly as they want. There will be no one to blame but themselves if after throwing a TRILLION DOLLARS at all their pet projects along the way, they come to the cliff and learn first-hand that this thing just ain’t gunna fly.
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(Since this isn’t a simulated video game and we’re all actually in the car with them, I sure hope I’m wrong, and I must admit: compared to Reid's or Pelosi's tone, I do appreciate the President's ability to "get along well with others" while trying to convince us that a shopping list is the same thing as a pay check.)